This has been one of those weeks.  You know the kind I’m talking about—when you’re simultaneously proud of your ability to have a case set for trial (have I mentioned that I’m an attorney?) but still be present for your kids in the evenings, complete the pre-school enrollment forms, remember to buy baby oatmeal so that you can start testing foods with your infant, make it to the dentist, juggle your pumping schedule, complete your mid-year partner review (phew!), take your son to speech therapy before said partner review and before said trial, attend that mom’s group happy hour that only comes around once per month, teach that class that you committed to once per week at the law school, get the laundry done, and make sure there are (semi) nutritious meals for your kids for dinner… but you’re also disappointed in yourself for not making a PowerPoint presentation for the class you’re teaching, not remembering to prepare show-and-tell until you’re rushing your kids out the door, arriving 5 minutes later at your office than you wanted to (even though no one checks on me or cares what time I arrive), snapping at your spouse for something small and insignificant, not getting the kitchen counters cleaned this morning before you left the house or taking the trash out, only practicing your son’s speech therapy exercises with him 4 times this week instead of the recommended 7 times per week, running out of time to make homemade baby food, and for not writing that blog post that you so desperately want to write, because it’s your way of releasing tension?  My list could go on and on…

It’s during weeks like this that I have to remind myself of two things: one, to breathe deeply.  And two, that it’s okay to strive for progress and not perfection. 

So many of us want to be perfect parents (or to be perfect people ourselves, or to have perfect lives, perfectly clean houses, etc.)  It’s easy to lose sight of all of the good we’re doing, and the positive forward progress we’re making. 

For example—last night we forgot to practice the speech therapy exercises with our son at dinner, like we usually do.  We were too stressed and distracted by our baby girl trying solids for the first time, and by me having a meeting that I needed to get to once the kids were in bed.  But you know what happened?  Our son (age 4) reminded us during bath time that we should practice.  And having our son be able to demonstrate this small step toward independence was big—actually, it was huge!  It was progress.

Not having time to make homemade baby food this week?  Our daughter still got to try her first foods, and practice her oral motor skills.  It was progress (and we’ll make the baby food this weekend!)

Not making a PowerPoint for the class I teach once per week?  My students actually engaged in better discussion with each other, and with me, without the PowerPoint.  And, they still grasped the points I was trying to make.  It was progress.

And not getting all of the counters wiped down before I left for work?  At least I got a few of them done.  My kitchen was cleaner when I left it than when I found it.  It was progress.

Juggling a pumping schedule in between being at the courthouse and the office?  It was my perfectly timed 3-hour increment schedule.  But it was progress toward my end goal of nursing/pumping for a year.

Not sitting down to write that lengthy blog post that I’ve been thinking about for days and days?  At least I sat down right now and wrote this post.  It may be fraught with typo’s for all I know. But at least it’s progress.

So sit back and breathe.  Sometimes we need to just cut ourselves some slack in this forgotten trimester, focus less on aiming for perfection, and recognize the progress we’re making in our lives. 

Soak up all of your own progress as parents… and don’t forget to soak up your kids’ progress, too.